May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!

When money’s tight and hard to get, and your horse is also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt, a pint of plain is your only man.

Here’s to a temperance supper,With water in glasses tall,And coffee and tea to end with–And me not there at all!

My friends are the best friends Loyal, willing and able. Now let’s get to drinking! All glasses off the table!

Best while you have it use your breath. There is no drinking after death.  

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!