• Brew Jokes

    Company Policy

    While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for allowing drinking at work include: 1. It\’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don\’t care. 10. It eliminates…

  • Brewpot & cleaning wort chiller.
    Misc. Homebrewing

    Cloning Your Favorite Beer

    By John Federal There are many beers out there but there are only a few that when drank, envoke a feeling of euphoria. It it those beers that we as brewers sometimes wish to recreate. But how, when their recipes can be such closely guarded secrets? Here are some suggestions that may help give you direction, but there are some easily pieces of information that you must first gather to become more accurate in your recipe formulation. 1. Check the brewery’s website for the beer you wish to make. Look for important formulation numbers like the SG or OG, SRM, ABV, any sensory descriptions giving details to malts, hops, and…

  • Notices

    Grand Opening

    Grand Opening Here ye, here ye.  Cellarmonk.com is now open. We’re  young.  We need content.  Help us out. We will say right now, that there are still blemishes, but those will be worked out. So, come on in.  Look around.  Send our link to your Facebook status and invite others to some and look around. Help us make CellarMonk.com the place to be on the web for those who know beer or would like to know it better! Go ahead and register, it’s free. And lastly, Thank you for giving us a look. Cheers,  The Abbot

  • Brew Jokes

    The Giraffe

    A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, “A beer for me, and one for the giraffe, please. ” So they proceed to drink. Then: “…a shot for me and one for the giraffe, too ” And they keep drinking all evening. Finally the giraffe passes out on the floor of the bar. The guy pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender shouts out, “Hey! You ‘re not going to leave that lyin ‘ on the floor, are you? ” The guy replies “That ‘s not a lion… it ‘s a giraffe. “

  • Brew Jokes

    One Penny

    A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that ‘ll be 1 cent. “ “One penny?! ” exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, “Yes. “ So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad? ” “Certainly sir, ” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to real money. “ “How much money? ” inquires the guy. “Four cents, ” he replies. “Four cents?! ” exclaims the guy. “Where ‘s the guy who owns this place? ” The barman replies, “Out with…

  • Brew Jokes

    Bar or Pub Translations

    1.  “Excuse Me. ” (male to male) —  “Get the hell out of the way. “ 2.  “Excuse Me. ” (male to female) —  “I am going to grope you now. “ 3.  “Excuse Me. ” (female to male) —  “Don ‘t even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way. “ 4.  “Excuse Me. ” (female to female) —  “Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don ‘t think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man, or I ‘ll slap you like the slut you are. “…

  • Brew Jokes

    Corona vs. Budweiser vs. Coors vs. Guinness

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says,  “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona. ” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says,  “I ‘d like the best beer in the world, give me  ‘The King Of Beers ‘, a Budweiser. ” The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says,  “I ‘d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors. ” He gets it. The guy from…