Brew Humor

Brew Funny

Best Investment - 401Keg

BY: TheAbbot

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today! If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have $33.00. If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00. Therefore the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-keg plan!

 
Brew Musings

Beer

Marketers Run Wild - Molson Coors Animee

BY: TheAbbot

Molson Coors’ Animee is the new beer in town (at least a few towns in the United Kingdom). 

The four main ingredients in beer are barley, hops, water and yeast.  Looking at these beers, one has to wonder if they should even be called beer.  As these seem to be flavored, then there would be little need for hops.  They seem to be completely clear, so it would make you wonder if there was actually any barley used in the making. 

Let's have a look at the yummy flavors.
Clear Filtered - Funny, the bottle of water I am drinking right this moment is the same flavor.

Crisp Rose     - That reminds me, I need to take my Molson Coors’ Animee Clear Filtered and refresh the rose bushes out front.  Really, Rose? "Yeah, give one of them there Rose beers, no glass!"

Zesty Lemon    - Are they making beer or salmon steak.  Aside from the fact that the Germans have been making beer with lemon for centuries, what makes them believe that women would want to drink something in a bar that makes them pucker up.  Sort of a catch 22.

Brew Interviews

Interview with a Homebrewer

Interview with a Homebrewer - A Self Portrait

BY: TheAbbot

Name:  Christopher Graf aka The Abbot

Day Job:  Sr. Network Security Engineer for large telecom 
Night Job: Founder and blogger of CellarMonk.com

When did you start homebrewing?
I started homebrewing in early 2007.  Hefe Secondary

What got you into homebrewing? A person? An unfulfilled interest?  Sheer boredom?
This answer has many parts.  I had always been fascinated with the idea of brewing my own beer, but had never taken the steps to do so.  After a trip to Europe with some friends (hitting many a brewery along the way), I decided I wanted to try and emulate some of the beers that I had had.  With encouragement from one of my traveling companions, himself a homebrewer, I took the plunge.  I returned home and sought out a local homebrew
shop to get started.

Do you belong to a homebrew club?  What is it?
I don't yet belong to a homebrew club.  The local club is CARBOY (Cary Apex Raleigh Brewers of Yore).  I may join soon.

Where do you brew? Inside/outside?
I brew inside in the kitchen.  I get away with it because I clean up behind myself and because I brew my wife her favorite beer at least once a year.
 
Where do you ferment?  Have you had to do anything creative to facilitate this?
I am lucky enough to have a walk in basement under 1/3 of my home.  It is perfect for fermenting.  There is also plenty of shelf space for the finished product.

Do you have a pet name for your homebrewing enterprise?  If so, can you give us a little background?
Nothing fancy.  We call it the Grafhaus Brewery.  Yeah, I know, lame.  

How large are your batches?
My batches are only 5 gallons at the moment, but by the end of the summer I hope to increase that to 10 gallon batches.

 
Brew Musings

Travel

Luckily Lost in London

BY: TheAbbot

It was a dark and stormy night...as it usually is in London in late February.  


There we were, one floor deep in the London Underground, with nothing but our thirst, a day pass and some pounds.

A shot rang out...No, no, that was a taxi backfiring.  Standing outside the Euston Tube stop, wondering if we would ever be able
to find a pub before
 closing time.

________________

Our journey had started much earlier (actually about three weeks earlier when the author had asked the #beer Twitterverse for suggestions on can't miss pub stops in London and vicinity). The name Euston Tap seemed to be at the top of everyones list of pubs to visit while in the city. So there we were, just outside the Euston Underground station, wondering where this elusive taphouse/pub was. From a distance we spotted what we thought were people outside a building at tables under an umbrella. Thinking that this might be a place to find food (we were hungry too), we started walking in that direction.  By blind luck we had happened upon the Euston Tap.Euston Tap

The Euston Tap is unlike any other taphouse/pub that we visited while in London (and we visited numerous).  First and foremost is its unique architecture. Unlike most of the pubs we visited, situated comfortably in the middle of a city block or on a corner, the Euston Tap stands alone. The Tap, inhabits what was originally the Western Lodge (the original entrance to the Euston Railway station (since demolished)). It stand over 70 feet high (two floors), with a circular staircase for entrance to the second floor.  There was also a small seating area outside and the bar met you as you walked through the front doors.

Though not big on the outside, there were big things going on inside.  Welcomed at the bar by Eve, we were asked what every thirsty man likes to hear, "What can I get you?".  Simple question you might say, but not so simple at the Tap.  You see, unlike the other pubs we visited, the Tap tries to have 8 different cask ales, as well as 20 keg beers and 100 to 150 bottle beers available.  So, choosing is anything but easy.  The cask ales were your traditional English pales and India pales. The kegs ran the gamut from American craft to Belgian Lambic to German Weizenbock.  Let's just say that the bottle selection at the Tap was better than this author has seen at almost any other bar/pub he has visited (in either the United States or Great Britain).  Just imagine going to a dedicated beer store and selecting only your favorites.  The Tap seemed to have them all.

Brew Musings

Beer & Friends

How to enjoy a Beer Festival

BY: TheAbbot

Summer beer festival season is upon us.  From the World Beer Festival to the Great American Beer Festival (GABF), there is a festival to be had almost every weekend somewhere in the world.  Beer festivals are quite a bit of fun, but that fun can be spoiled if you find that you have drank a bit too much.  From past experience, this is easy to do.  In order to get the most out of attending a festival, while being responsible and not being annoying the following are some steps that you might keep in mind while attending.

1.  Make sure that you eat just prior to entering the festival (but give yourself time to get the flavor of the food out of your mouth or you will be tasting food flavored beer), and continue to seek out food for the duration of the festival.  Most festival have pre-arranged agreements with (on-site) food vendors that allow for at least one or two low cost food items to be available for purchase from each vendor.  Typical beer festival fare of turkey legs, pizza, nachos and different sandwiches will give your stomach a much needed buffer between beer and alcohol absorption.  Take time to enjoy your food.  This will also help to cleanse your palette between flights of beer.

2.  Try to come close to drinking equal parts water and beer.  If you have four two ounce servings of beer, try and drink that same amount of water before moving on to another flight of beer.  Most festivals provide either bottled water or some other way of obtaining water specifically for this purpose.  You will undoubtedly use the restrooms more frequently, but in the end this will keep you from becoming dehydrated and could help reduce the chance of a hangover later on.

 

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